No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
