I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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