i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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