all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
