so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
