But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
