We're like a lot better than the average bears
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
