Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
