I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
