Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
