Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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