Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
