? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
