So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
