Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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