it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
