Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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