Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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