you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
How's work?
Spinning.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
