brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
and you fell through a lawn chair
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
