Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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