ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
