You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
What a dumb baby whore.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize