Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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