So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
