This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize