I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
