sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
