I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
