he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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