i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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