Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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