Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
