did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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