i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
