NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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