Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize