we're blogging at a bar
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
