Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
