Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
