You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
