I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
