god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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