Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
