All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
nutella sex= disaster
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
