ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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