You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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