Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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