Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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