Umm I'm too high to move.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
