yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
