Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
