Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
