Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
