I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize