I wish I only lived at night.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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