yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the condom got lost in my hair
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
