Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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