Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize