I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
These tits shall not be calmed
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
