you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
