Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
