i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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