I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
